paper blade .

Thursday, April 07, 2005
5:04 AM

Cher: Yes! definitely! I miss u so much! *hugs

A very nice dude: Oh, well, I trust u'd know better. Lol. Thanks anyway.

Xue: Lol. YES!! Yay, definitely! I will hun! Don't get too upset though, alright? Abt the phone! *hugs

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I'm still awake. Yes. At this God forsaken time of 0504. I wanna sleep! but I can't.. GRRRR! It's killing meeee! Don't ask me whether it's because smth's bothering me or anything like that, cos nth is! I'm plainly suffering from insomnia and it simply isn't gonna help me to wake up at 12 later!! Err.. ok, I knw 12 sounds absurd to many of u, but u see, my human clock has been adjusted to only rise from bed at 1430++. =/

Mayb it's the lack of sleep, or pms, or excessive shopping.. I don't know. Feeling a bit of emo at the moment. Once again, for no valid reason. I guess I think too much when I'm left with the four walls. Think about everything, anything. I ponder about human relationships, the build up, the decay, the eventual reconciliation. That is, if that ever really happens in some cases. I wonder what the other person thinks, whether their heart has softened or do they still hold that grudge like so. And it leads u to question, isn't it tiring if anger still boils..? I guess one can never decipher the makings of another's heart.

On nights, when I suffer from insomnia just like this night, I wonder whether I'm with the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with. And sometimes, I don't even knw whether I'm swept off my feet. Cos I'm feeling so much stillness, nth else can b felt. But i suppose what comes, comes. What goes, goes...

I honestly feel sometimes, that shopping never really makes u happy.. unless it comes with good bargaining skills. After earning my own keep, spending money like water burns a hole in my heart more than it burns a hole in my pocket. But discipline is deficient when the materialistic world offer nth but endless temptations to bankruptcy and momentary satisfaction...

Alright, I've written enuf, feel strength leaving me. I'm in dire need of sleep, well, lets hope I'm tired enuf to.

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